This is me. The end of the baby making chapter.

Naming ceremony Orli - 12th may 2024

DEBS

Thank you, our dearest family, for coming here today to share in the celebration of naming our third little girl. 

The last five years have been a rollercoaster, to say the least, and we are so grateful to be here today with two of our three girls. 

When I think back to the moment we were told Yaeli had died, I could never imagine being here today, naming our third baby girl. 

It's amazing!!!!!!!

And we are so blessed and thankful to be able to share this moment with you. 

BEN

Our family and friends, you are our rock. 

And we also want to say some special thank you’s. 

Firstly to Debs parents David and Hilary -  for all their support through the latest pregnancy and since delivery. Thank you. 

Calling Hilary in the middle of the night several times, whilst Debs was crying with anxiety, and Hilary rushing over to look after Liora whilst we drove to UCLH for a check - cannot have been easy for her. 

And we appreciate the sacrifice of Hilary and David staying in our house on and off for 10 days whilst we cared for our newest edition in the hospital. 

Thank you also for helping us settle back at home and helping us plan and prepare for today. 

Similarly, Mum, thank you for your endless childcare hours, nappy changing, cooking and gardening. 

Without your help whilst we were in hospital I just don't know what we would have done. 

Liora loves you to bits and we really appreciate you traveling up and down the motorway from much further away to look after her, especially when we were in the hospital for so long! 

Sam and Flo, what can we say. You are the most wonderful auntie and uncle. The way you love and spoil Liora and spend your hard earned cash on her is both wonderful and naughty!!! We love you so much.  

Joel, Eginsu, Eliya, Lishan and Liyu - we know if you were close by you would also be here for us physically. We love you very much. We always miss you and we can't wait for you to come and stay in July for a whole month! Bring on the Meyers in Butlins!!!! 

Zak and Beth - we love you very much and we've enjoyed watching you playing with Liora.We can't wait to see you do the same with this little one.

Thank you to Dad and Sarah Lou for supporting us emotionally and also financially. It is thanks to them we have such a wonderful brunch here this morning. 

Now, we also know that sadly, on these occasions there are always people who are missing. We want to acknowledge this - and take a moment. 

On both sides there are much loved cousins, aunts and uncles who have been taken far too soon. 

We hope they are looking down and smiling on us. 

We also really miss our departed grandparents. And it's difficult to know they will not see our newest edition as she grows. 

But we know that they would be so pleased and proud to see us here today. 

We are really fortunate to have grandpa with us today. 

Liora is lucky to have her great grandpa in her life - as are we.

And another happy birthday for last week! 

DEBS 

Although they are not here,  I also want to acknowledge and thank our consultants at UCLH, Dr Melissa Whitten and Dr Dimitris Siassakos. 

Melissa Whitten has known us for years now, ensuring both liora and this little one have arrived safely. 

Without her knowledge, skills, patience, empathy and ongoing support I don't think I could have made it through two more petrifying pregnancies. 

In this pregnancy we were also supported by Dimitris, who was equally lovely. He's doing some amazing research into stillbirth and loads of other things related to high risk pregnancies. 

Ben and I both felt like we were being cared for by two ‘parents’ who both had our back. And we will never forget them. 

In future, we will make sure we support the special perinatal history clinic we were under, to support other people like ourselves  - and to help Melissa and Dimitris with their amazing research endeavours. 

,............................

So now moving on… I’m going start a little bit like I did at Liora's naming ceremony, by acknowledging the past.

As usual its a bit honest and raw, but the reason I want to acknowledge it is to bring us up to the present day.

It all highlights the real significance of this day and the joy it brings.

……………

Losing Yaeli was unbearable. And particularly as we know it was avoidable, the hurt is made more challenging. 

To make sense of it some people have said things like ‘perhaps it was meant to be’. 

Or they say, if Yaeli was here, then liora wouldn't be Liora - and this new baby would not be this particular baby. 

This is true. 

However in my mind the two things are not related. And I would still rather Yaeli had never died. 

And yet that doesn't take away from the love I have for these two here with us. 

It seemed so fitting that four years to the day, on Yaeli’s birthday this year, and after three years of waiting, the hospital trust finally admitted liability for her death.

We now have their written admission and an apology stating that had they not made the two critical mistakes - and had they scanned me and seen the size of Yaeli - in all probability she would be here with us today. 

After Yaeli died, in summer 2020, I had my first misscarriage - but as you all know, we were so lucky to welcome Liora in Summer 2021. 

And what a light she is. 

A ray of sunshine, a huge hilarious character, she makes us laugh every single day. We're so blessed. 

When we wake up each morning to her singing and babbling to herself, I remember the silence after Yaeli died and I smile, laugh and I thank my lucky stars. 

Ben and I both knew we wanted to bring a second child home, despite the anxiety and challenges that would bring.

In truth, I've always wanted three children at home, although Ben has always been firm that two is enough.

So after enjoying Liora for a year, we started trying again in June 2022.

But I had my second miscarriage during Liora's first birthday in July 2022.

It was tough celebrating Liora whilst suffering again at the same time. 

But I hoped it was a one off….

 It wasn't. 

And I had a further three early miscarriages. 

The last one was scary and I ended up in A&E - just two days before my 40th birthday last April.

We went to Lanzarote straight afterwards with Liora, which was lovely.

But in truth my 40th birthday was a washout in terms of my emotional health. 

I always thought IVF was a certain back up plan. And I never considered that it's not an option for some people. 

It was a big blow to be told the level of AMH in my blood indicated I might have low egg reserves. So despite repeatedly getting pregnant, the chances of extracting more than one or two eggs to harvest would have been slim. 

But then, in September last year, a miracle happened. And I was pregnant again.

I was convinced however that I was having a fifth consecutive miscarriage. 

I even went to the hospital alone at 6 weeks to get it confirmed.

Since Yaeli died, I had never been to an appointment alone. I was too scared. 

But this time I felt fine about it. I thought I knew the pregnancy was a goner because I had a tummy ache.(And there were some other reasons)

But when I got into the scanning room, the doctor said it was unclear.  

She couldn't tell if there was a heartbeat or not but she said that was normal at 6 weeks. 

So I asked if she was thinking there's an  80% 20% chance on the side of miscarriage. She said it was more like a 50/50 chance. 

I was so surprised.

I was so ready for the bad news.  

And then I had to come to terms with another week of uncertainty. 

I had to go home and come back the following week.

I didn't want to get my hopes up but I also wanted to be positive. 

That week felt really long.

When we went back - a miracle occured. 

There was a heartbeat!!!

We were so excited but ridiculously scared. Scared to believe it could really happen. 

And over the following months, terrible anxiety ensued. I was in denial about it all, just trying to live from day to day. 

At scans, seeing our baby girl on the screen felt surreal at times. 

But we made it. We got here. She is here!!! 

And so - now we get to the present moment. 

The feeling is indescribable. 

The love is overwhelming. 

We feel like the luckiest mummy and daddy. 

I feel like Yaeli has protected these two

I know there are so many women who go through so much shite and never get to to take any precious babies home. And I feel really blessed. 

I'm petrified of anything bad happening to them. And I just hope we can protect them.

I will never take our blessing for granted, even when the girls are driving me completely insane and I want to throttle them - (which has happened several times with Liora) 

If I were younger and had it all been easier, I might try to convince Ben to try again for a third child at home.

I really didn't know how maternal I would feel.

But we both agree the physical and emotional turmoil has taken its toll. And now it's time to end this chapter and enjoy the girls we have at home. 

And soooo, now to this little one..

THE REASON WE ARE ALL HERE. 

She really is small - but mighty! 

She's actually not the littlest of ours. She is in the middle of the three - 

Yaeli only slightly bigger and Liora a tiny bit smaller (but basically the same size!). 

This one was born weighing just 2.25 kg - 4lb 15 ounces. 

She's like the little twin of Liora at the moment - but exactly two years and nine months apart.

She was born a similar size and with similar issues in the first two weeks of her life. Looking back at our ‘back then’ app, we can see she even looks very similar to Liora as a newborn. 

Although unlike Liora she was able to control her temperature sooner, she has been similarly sleepy and with feeding issues. 

We briefly had to learn how to top up her feeds with a tube. And we were stuck in the hospital until confident that she would be able to feed at home without it. 

But now she has thankfully put on a little more weight and we'll try our best to continue our tag team feeding efforts.

This little one also had jaundice. She was on ‘the bright light’ like Liora - although she fought it quickly - in around 24 hours - she's small but definitely a fighter! 

…..

In terms of her name, we hadn't been able to decide on her name during pregnancy. And we were still discussing it in the hospital.

However, we soon realized she's simply another little bright shining light for us. 

Another baby so wanted and fought for, born after loss and having been on the jaundice light. 

And so we have decided to name her as such - Our Light. 

There are several names that mean ‘my light’ - and one is obviously Liora…

But another is Orli. 

So in the presence of our family, we are naming you Orli.

Spelt ORLI.

BEN

Orli's middle name is going to be Fey. 

Spelt F.E.Y.

This is in memory of my much loved and much missed grandma June. 

Her Hebrew name was Feygie, and so we are shortening Orli's middle name to F.E.Y. 

DEBS 

Orli Fey - Let it become a name honoured and respected for wisdom and good deeds. 

We commit ourselves to the unfolding of your promise, may you walk the path of goodness, beauty, and truth.

Do justly and love mercifully, and be humble before the mystery of life and the grandeur of the universe into which you have been born.

May blessings rest on you now and always. 

Amen.

BEN  

Now, I want to take a minute to say how proud I am of Debs.

She is brave and resilient. I am in awe of her and she is a warrior. 

With the stuff Debs has had to do, I feel lucky that I am a man. She is a fighter and can do anything she puts her mind to. 

During Orli’s delivery, whilst Debs was pushing, Orli became slightly distressed.

The doctor came in and said they may have to do something to help that she didn't want them to. 

So she put her mind, power and everything into it to get Orli out so they did not need to do what they came in to do. 

She has pushed herself throughout the last five years to the limits and we have come out the other side getting what we have wanted. 

Debs thank you for all your patience and for supporting me, even if i can be slightly or a tiny bit stubborn..

I also like to echo everything that has been said above.

Liora is growing up to be such a delight - she is funny, kind, generous and is very extroverted.She says hi to everyone! 

And I hope she continues to do this as she grows up. Well, except when she hugs random grownups!

She has taken to being a big sister like a duck to water so far. She has been gentle and loving, giving kisses on the head to Orli and holding her hand. 

Orli - you are a fighter, you have fought off the jaundice and regulated your temperature very quickly in hospital and even when you have reflux you fight that off too.

I am hoping you will grow up to be as strong as your mother and sister and I cannot wait to be bossed around by all 3 of you. 

I cant describe in words how much I love you 3 and I will fight all of your battles.

DEBS

Thank you Ben, I love you. 

And I want to say thank you to you for all your support, patience and empathy. 

I appreciate how much you took on during the pregnancy and physically, I struggled to carry Liora around and do what I used to do. 

Thank you for tag teaming with me on feeding Orli.

Thank you for feeding me, helping me to get as much sleep as possible and sharing the endless chores that we seem to have. 

You are a wonderful daddy. You are loyal, patient (sometimes) and helpful and I love you to pieces. 

,......

Orli Fey Meyer-Lewis, mummy and daddy love you so so much - more than you can ever know. 

We're the luckiest parents to have you here with us.

We promise to do our best to keep you safe, give you all the cuddles and love that we can, help you be kind and help you become the best version of you. 

We can't wait to spend time with you and see the amazing character that you turn into.

……………..

Thank you all so much again for coming today, for celebrating our beautiful Orli with us. 

Finally, please join us in wishing that Orli is blessed with good health, happiness, love and an extremely long life.

To Orli.